Why are difficult conversations in the workplace so difficult?
It is important to recognise the difference of background, cultural norms, upbringing, experiences, values, beliefs, thinking and behavioural styles each person brings with them into any given interaction, and thus, the workplace.
Our day-to-day interactions both personally and professionally require difficult conversations to take place in order to facilitate growth. Without productive and constructive conversations taking place in the workplace a culture can arise where avoidant behaviours begin to naturally occur; breeding an environment where teams and individuals lack accountability.
What constitutes a difficult conversation for someone? Typically, this is where people’s thoughts, feelings, and perceptions sit opposite to something or someone else’s ideals. What a difficult conversation is for one will not be difficult for another. What is a difficult conversation for one is connected to the paradigms which have formed over time and is strongly connected to the persons values and priorities in life. As unique individuals we all possess different upbringings and experiences that we carry with us into our workplaces and thus, every interaction we have with others
If leaders and managers invest in taking the time to learn and understand individuals, they will begin to unpack how to productively handle difficult conversations that will impact employees’ internal relationships and subsequently improving working environments.
In these conversations, leaders and managers develop a fear of potential consequences whether that be taking on having the conversation or avoiding it. If we avoid the conversation, we risk perpetuating a culture where a lack of action and accountability is considered common place.
Leaders/managers mindset plays a pivotal role in how difficult conversations are approached. To have better difficult conversations, changing the mindset in approach will have superior outcomes for all parties involved.
Individuals have differing motivations and priorities that impact how we receive and deliver feedback to one another. When approaching difficult conversations, some leaders/managers will be driven by a need to be accepted and/or liked, a need for an outcome, a need to be right (rather than wrong), a belief that their feelings are most important and/or a belief that they have to ‘win’ for an outcome to be successful.
When feedback is delivered often those receiving it naturally go through the following emotions: defensiveness, denial, acceptance and only once these emotions have been processed can those receiving the information move to action. When leaders/managers provide feedback and understand the varying emotions that can impact the recipient, they can provide the adequate support required to move the receiver through these stages in a supportive way.
One of the biggest obstacles to leaders and managers having productive, effective, difficult conversations is they do not believe they have the right tools to master conflict along with a perceived lack of control over the other party. Leaders and managers express their confidence when it comes to understanding what ‘needs’ to be communicated however where the hesitance comes into play is the fear of the unknown; the variables they cannot control or predict.
Preparedness is a critical component to ensuring addressing difficult conversations have the desired impact and delivers the required outcomes for all stakeholders. Mirrored Horizons have developed a feedback model that our clients’ leaders and managers regularly use to facilitate healthy, outcome focused conversations in the workplace. The model is used to prompt the growth mindset approach required in this process and has been developed to leverage on positive psychology.
If you or your business is interested in the benefits of mastering the art of difficult conversations and reaping the benefits of clear communication, Mirrored Horizons provides training for leaders and managers.
Providing this training and tool to leaders, managers, and employees will help to foster healthy working environments where everyone is focused on being clear to produce sustainable success and empowered environments where transparency is honored.
Book a free 15-minute discovery call with us today to find out more.